Leave Tiger Alone

OK...I have tried to avoid commenting on the Tiger Woods scandal because I'm not the band-wagon type, but I can resist no longer. I know everyone in the world is down on Le Tigre (I gave Tiger a cooler name that befits his new pimp status), but I think everyone should just leave the guy alone. I am not condoning his behavior, but I do have a few good arguments as to why he should be left alone.

The first reason to stop the coverage is out of respect for his family. Put yourself in his terminally hot wife's shoes...he didn't just trade down, he traded down repeatedly. She has suffered enough embarrassment without being constantly hounded by media, not to mention the fact that his children will one day be confronted with the whole messy affair. Those are the sweet, sensitive, Little House on the Prairie reasons the media should stop. I posted these to at least look somewhat sensitive and caring for the female readers. The reasons I think Tiger should be left alone vary somewhat from this argument.

Before this scandal, I thought Tiger Woods was a great golfer, but a tremendously boring person. Now...he's my hero. He's a fucking pimp, people! Who would've guessed in that quiet, calm, little guy beat the heart of Ron Jeremy? Tiger has banged everything from supermodels and porn stars, to Denny's waitresses... you gotta love the diversity. He gives new hope to all the middle-age baseball dads and scout leaders out there (maybe not scout leaders...I'm pretty sure most of them are pedophiles who don't like chicks). If a dude that looks and acts like Tiger can bang hot young women, anyone can. OK... it helps he's a billionaire, but a man can dream. Seriously, whether you agree with his actions or not, you have to admit that he does seem cooler now. I have new respect for the man.

No one seems to bitch when rock stars bang groupies, so why is Le Tigre held to a different standard? Think about it...even douche bag rockers get hot chicks. Want proof? Justin Timberlake, and John Mayer...nuff said. Between the two of these wimpy mega-douches, they have banged every chick in Hollywood that I ever wanted to bang. I fucking hate these guys because every week I read about them defiling yet another one of my fantasy girls, yet I grin and bear it. Why give them a pass and dump on Le Tigre? Because he's married? Granted I don't agree with his lack of respect for the bonds of matrimony, but I don't think that is truly the reason for the underlying outrage from the public. I think everyone is pissed because they were tricked. People expect that behavior from rockers...even the married ones. Le Tigre's actions were a total surprise. Its kinda like the public picked up a hot hooker, but then got her home and found out she had a dick. No one likes those type surprises.

Most guys will agree with me. Most women will disagree, which is funny because given the chance...most women would do Le Tigre. Either because they are attracted to him, or because he is rich and famous. The ladies will not admit this, but its true.

The only victims in this deal are Le Tigre's wife and kids. For their sake the media should let this shit fade. The rest of the folks out there should lighten up and find something else to do besides worry about The Tiger. If put in the same position as those involved, either Le Tigre or one of the numerous women, how would most people conduct themselves? Would the average woman turn down a handsome, rich celebrity if she thought no one would find out? Would the average guy turn down a gaggle of models and porn stars if given the opportunity to do them discreetly? Think before you judge. Regardless of your position on the argument, this train wreck won't go away soon. As much as I hate to admit it, I will be there with my hands covering my eyes, peeking through my fingers, watching it all unfold...cause I just can't help but look.