Another Year Older...

I turned another year older today. Today, like every year on my birthday, I reflected upon my life. I like to see if I am making progress year after year. Trust me, its important to check these things, because I've had some years in which I have lost ground. As I have said many times before, 99.9% of everything you will read here is comedy and bullshit. This article is in the .1%, as I will actually be serious...well, as serious as I get, anyway. So, lets look at what I came up with.

I looked in the mirror this morning, and saw a few more wrinkles, but not as many as other men my age. I noticed that I still have no gray hair(a miracle), but that my forehead did get a little bigger. The downside to having your forehead grow, is that it makes it look like you have lost some hair. I am happy that I got the weight off, and have kept it off. Physically, I feel as good as ever. I'm not the perfect specimen of a man, but I am content in knowing that I could be in worse shape. I still ride the mountain bike a few times a week when the weather permits, and will be doing a 12 hour cross country endurance ride in May.I might actually feel better than when I was in my twenties, but that's not saying much since I spent the majority of my twenties drunk and in bars. The thing I noticed most was my eyes. I don't mean the wrinkles around them, but rather the look in my eyes. Over the years, I have seen a lot, both good and bad. The eyes, it is said, are the window to the soul. I look in my own eyes and see the eyes of someone who has known both joy and tragedy. They reflect both my accomplishments and the mistakes of my past, while shining with hope and fear for the future. I look at my hands and find scars and joints that were broken and left to heal improperly. Most of those remind me of my years as a soldier and cop...of countless battles, street fights and training exercises. I see the burn scar on the back of my hand that I received as a soldier, it was caused by having a hot gun barrel placed on my hand as a reminder not to drop my weapon. I never dropped my weapon again, neither in training or in combat.One whole finger is without feeling due to permanent nerve damage sustained when I managed to temporarily remove the finger while building my house. I got to keep the finger, but not the feeling. That is my souvenir to remind me that I built the home for my children with my own hands. I am proud of that. I see all the other scars, each with its own story.Its strange that the same hands used to make war and cause death, have also been used to save lives and cradle my sons when they came into the world. I like to think I have used my hands more for life than death. I scan the rest of my body for scars and tattoos. Each one is a memento that reminds me of an event. It is winter, so I feel all the previously broken bones. But they actually hurt less each year. All in all, i would say I'm pretty lucky in the physical sense.

I then reflect on my life and accomplishments. I am not rich, but I'm also not as poor as I once was. I am happy that my children do not know what it feels like to be ashamed of where they live, and that they have never went to bed hungry. I am also glad that I can dress them nicely and give them a good home. I am grateful for my understanding wife, loving family, and loyal friends. I am grateful to have a good job and a good boss at a time when so many people are out of work. I have had an unusual life and many experiences. Those experiences, both good and bad, have forged my personality. I have known the thrill of success and the bitter sorrow of failure. I have seen times with much money, and I have been completely destitute. The most important thing is that I have learned from all the experiences and they have made me the person I am today. I will never take anything in this life for granted regardless of how successful I become, nor will I give up when I am at my lowest. Because I believe that as long as you are alive, you have a chance at greatness. That is the lesson learned from failure. My opportunity to become great is not over until they put me in the grave. Being successful has no age limit, and you can reach your goals at any age. I see areas in which I need to improve my life, but overall, I like who I am. I am pleased that I have begun to come into my own. I am no longer the shy, frightened child, the angry and reckless teen, or the young man full of self-doubt trying to find his way. I am a man, and I know what I stand for...and I like what I have become.

This year, I have improved. I will take the lessons learned in the past and use them to teach and guide my children, as well as to continue improving upon myself. I will leave them a legacy, perhaps not of money, but a legacy consisting of a greater wealth. The wealth of character. I have told my sons that I do not care if they become wealthy or successful,so long as they grow up to be good men. If they manage that, then I have done my job, and I will be proud of them. I am a fortunate and happy man. I survived another year and I continue to learn and improve. I hope that I have another good year.